My right nostril was lifting up, and my face was starting to shift- it seemed as though I was having a stroke. I went from being told how beautiful I am to what’s wrong with your face? You can only imagine how hard it was for me to understand why God would allow all these catastrophic events happen in my life. In the middle of trying to get passed a bad breakup, I was diagnosed with a tumor. On September 27th, 2016, a day after my 34th birthday a team of six of doctors came into the room after doing my x-ray to advise me that I had a cyst a size of a baseball, and if I didn’t get surgery within sixty days, my face would be deformed and I will lose my entire mouth. Can you imagine the overwhelming feeling that came over me when I heard the news?
I had to fight the good fight of faith. Life was testing me in every area you can think of, but it was up to me not to give up and to continue doing whatever was necessary to see the victory. I had to remind myself this didn’t catch God off guard, which means he will get me through it. Yes, there were moments I would break down in tears. Life is going to hit you with bricks, and you have to use those very bricks to build your faith, confidence, determination, to see yourself overcoming it. It’s not easy, but it’s a MUST to be able to overcome life’s craziness. Life is going to happen if you like it, or not.
I chose to fight the tumor… November 3rd, 2016 after 5 hours undergoing surgery my first surgery, I woke up in the hospital room where I stayed for four days. It was the first time I would see myself with temporary dentures since they had to remove my top front five teeth to remove the entire tumor. I had perfect white teeth before the surgery, and it was tough to come to the realization that this was my present reality. I admit I was so vain that I never removed the dentures and when I returned home from the hospital I caught an infection. They had to remove the temporary device from my mouth. It would be the first time seeing my myself without front teeth. I recalled looking at my bathroom mirror and breaking down. I turned off every single light in my place because it was too hard to look at myself.
I sobbed the entire night while talking to God, but something happened the next morning- I woke up with an “I got this” attitude. I had a pep talk with myself and said “Angelina Rosario; you are stronger than yesterday. The tumor will not get the best of you. Heck no, you weren’t made to break, so get it together girlfriend and let’s finish strong”. I kept having self-talks through my day. Your mind can take over, and you will become a victim if you allow it. Don’t let any circumstances determine the outcome of your future. Deal with the problem head-on by changing the conversations you are having with yourself. It starts with you!